Stay Steady & Carry On

In the Montessori world, you often hear the phrase, “Follow the child.”

But you don’t always hear the rest of it.

Follow the child as their leader.

That part matters.

Because being a leader means you are still the adult. You still make decisions. You still hold the long view. You don’t hand over control — you manage it wisely.

And yet… control is tricky. Especially when growth is happening right in front of us.

Swim meets lately — because that’s where I spend most of my time these days, either at the pool or the ice rink. Ha! Come hang with me!!

You’re sitting on hard bleachers. It smells like chlorine. It’s early. Your child swims their heart out. They touch the wall, look up at the clock, maybe slap the water — and you see it. The shoulders drop.

You know they’re disappointed.

And suddenly your heart is racing too.

Why am I getting emotional? They’re okay.

They’re disappointed, sure. But they’re handling it.

That’s where growth and control collide.

My instinct can be to control the moment — to fix it, soften it, talk it away.

But growth doesn’t need to be controlled. It needs to be supported.

If I rush in and rescue, I’m managing my discomfort — not their development.

If I stay steady, I’m trusting the process.

Following the child as their leader means I don’t overtake the moment just because it feels uncomfortable. It means I hold the long view.

It might look like saying, “I saw that. You worked hard. What do you think?”

And then listening.

I don’t need to pour all my emotions onto my child. They don’t need added weight.

They can feel disappointment.

Because disappointment isn’t failure.

It’s growth.

We can’t control the race.

We can’t control the scoreboard.

We can’t control every emotional wave.

But we can control how we respond.

That’s the work.

Growth requires discomfort.

Growth requires space.

Growth requires trust.

Follow the child. As their leader and

Stay steady at the helm, friends.

Bring on the spring.